Today is Thursday, and it is the day that I would normally be getting chemo, but I'm not! It's 4:15 p.m. and by now I would be wearing the frozen booties and gloves and be watching a romantic comedy half drunk from the ativan and benedryl. Instead I'm here in Bastrop, Texas at my in-laws house and before that, I was at the Lost Pines Resort.
I had such a great time at the resort, especially eating. Some of my favorites at the all you can eat buffet were: migas (Mexican eggs), sausage, red velvet cake, lox, and the ultimate, lobster mac and cheese. I don't know if any of you have ever seen the movie "Defending Your Life", but it reminded me of the food in that movie. (One of the basic premises in the movie is after people die, they go to this place where they are judged how they lived their lives. If a life was lived without fear, the person would move on in the universe and if the person lived with too much fear, the person was reincarnated.) While the dead people were being judged, they stayed at this place called Judgement City where they got to eat as much as they wanted, the food was incredible, and it was impossible to gain weight. The Lost Pines Resort buffet was a lot like that except for the eating with no consequences part.
My hair has really started to grow back in. It is almost completely white and I think it will end up being curly..at least at first. I am getting to the point now that I don't want to wear my wigs anymore. The temperature is getting warmer and the wigs are just making me very uncomfortable especially with the new hair growth. I am ready to go without a wig in public, but my own children are mortified when I go out like that. My nephews and my sister-in-law told me yesterday that they thought I should go without the wig and that my hair looked cool...sort of an Annie Lennox look. It will be interesting to see what happens when I get to school on Monday because I'm not sure I'll be wearing my wig..
I will go back to see the oncologist in 6 weeks. I will get a physical exam and start tamoxifen. Unless she finds something suspicious, I won't have any scans. I also will never have a mamogram again since the fat in my chest is not breast tissue. After that, I will come back every 6 months unless there is a complication, or something needs attention. I will continue with my current supplements for the next two months, and this Monday, I will start making arrangements for my final plastic surgery and ablation if I need it.
All of my cancer stuff seems so trivial lately. There are so many more important things going on in the world than my own personal struggles. I am devastated by what is going on in Texas right now with the governor and the budget cuts in education. I just don't understand why he is doing what he is doing and why he feels it's necessary to hurt the future of his state in the name of budget crunching. Children deserve as much money as we can throw at them when it comes to education and their future. He doesn't want to dig into the state's rainy day fund to help our schools. Mr. Governor, it is raining in Texas and it's raining hard..
Even more distressing is the horrible earthquake and resulting tsunami that occurred in Japan. I cannot even imagine what those people are dealing with right now. So many are dead, injured, and unaccounted for. There isn't enough food and water to go around and there is a strong possibility for a nuclear meltown in the affected power plants. This is the second disaster that I can think of in recent times that affected man's energy usage. (The other is the Gulf of Mexico disaster last April) Many think that these global events, are signaling the end of the world by God. Has anyone ever thought that maybe these are signs by God that man needs to find another energy source that won't destroy the earth? Maybe energy from oil and nuclear energy aren't long term answers? I'm just a band director and I never did well in science or math, but what about wind energy? Of course solar energy would be the most logical..After all, the sun is the biggest source we have and it's just sitting there in the sky waiting for us to use it. Surely with all of the incredible minds we have on this planet that someone can figure something out.
According to the Mayan calendar, the end of the world is next year, 2012. I am hoping and assuming this is not the truth. Even so, I hope that our national and state leaders start doing some things to ensure our future. I hope they pass some legislation to help our schools and the children of this state and country. I also hope that we can find a solution to our energy needs before our needs destroy us as a race.
I am feeling certain that I will win my battle with cancer...I just hope I live to see many more years and my fellow humans do too. 2012 is too soon for any of us.
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