Am I George Clooney with a $250,000 boob job?

Today I went to see my plastic surgeon to schedule my final surgery.  I hadn't seen him since September, since before I started chemo.  He examined me and said that everything was healing great and he described to me what he wanted to do in my final surgery.  Since my left breast is slightly bigger than my right, he wanted to even them out.  He also said he would contour my hips with a little liposuction and possibly put that fat in the smaller breast.  I wonder if while he's at it he could fix my nose and my sagging neck..I also saw pictures of myself before the surgery.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually like the way I look better now, even without the final touches.  My breasts are more the same size, they are lifted up and I don't have the paunch that I used to have on my stomach.

I also mentioned to my doctor that I would like to have the ablation done at the same time if possible so that I don't have to be put under anesthesia twice.  He said that was a possibility as well.  Overall, I felt pretty good about the appointment.  For the first time in a while, I could also visualize the end of this cancer hell.

Today at work, I showed a co-worker a picture of myself without my wig.  She said, "Wow, you look like George Clooney."  I was thinking, yes, George Clooney with a $250,000 boob job..This is not a sexy image in my mind..I kept picturing George in drag and thinking...ick..

I'm starting to think about the hair on my head again. It's starting to grow in, Clooney style, and I'm wondering what color I should dye it...if anything.  I was thinking about wearing it in a pixie cut at first and making it all white.  Then I thought about coloring it blonde, a very white blonde like Annie Lennox is currently wearing her hair.  My whole life I have actually wanted to be a red head.  As a child I had a recurring dream that I was looking in the mirror and I had red hair.  Maybe this is my chance to fulfill this crazy dream.

I have been taking ativan (a tranquilizer) every night before bed and it has been helping my nerves and my vision.  Or maybe I'm so tranquil, I don't give a fuck what I'm looking at..

The day after tomorrow is Chemo #10 of the final 12.  I can't believe it..I hope I make it through this..I hope the cancer is gone forever..

Chemosabe