Chemo #2 and a new complication

I had chemo #2 yesterday of the final 12 treatments.  So far both treatments have gone quite well and I have been able to function afterwards pretty well.  I have been getting horrible hot flashes and neck pain that have kept me from sleeping, so that will be the next hurdle to jump.

My last menstrual cycle began on 11/28/10, and I still haven't completely stopped bleeding.  (It is now 12/31/10)  A few days ago, I went to have a sonogram of my pelvis because my OB/GYN was concerned with the bleeding, as he should be.  I found out today that I most likely have a polyp that needs to be removed.  I don't know exactly when this will happen, but I am really concerned about having surgery at this time.  First of all I am already anemic and any surgery will of course make this worse.  Second, I am already weak from chemo and surgery will make me weaker and the recovery time harder.  Third, I wonder if I had surgery now if this would delay my chemo...and I'm sure it would.  Fourth, my white blood count has been compromised from the chemo and therefore it would be difficult to fight any infection that I would get from the surgery.

My oncologist assured me that this polyp is not cancer and to concentrate on not worrying.  She is supposed to talk to my OB/GYN to see if the surgery can be delayed until after chemo.

My weight has continued to climb and my oncologist assured me that every one of her breast cancer patients have gained 10 pounds or more.  I am trying to do weight watchers and since I have been feeling better, I am going to try to go out and ride my bike again for short distances.  (Since the weather has been warm, I figured I'd better take advantage of it.)

I have continued to have sleep problems because of the horrible hot flashes that I have been experiencing with the chemo.  Tonight is a typical night of sleep, about 4 hours.

Since my white blood cell count is low again, I will be going in for another neulasta shot this morning.  Hopefully this will increase my immunity so that I can continue to fight infections.

Yesterday, right before the chemo treatment, I began to cry.  It seems that this is a new ritual for me.  I am not sure why I am crying except that I have a lot of frustrations about my life and my health.  I have always considered myself to be healthy, and now I find myself at age 42 with a barrage of health problems.  Cancer, migraines, and neck problems, including degenerative and bulging disk, arthritis and bone spurs.  To add insult to injury, I received a letter from my insurance company inviting me to participate in a "case management program."  They said, "As part of your benefits and at no additional cost, this program is available to help our members who may be experiencing chronic health conditions and/or complex medical problems."  It sounds like a nice program actually, but instead of addressing the letter to Emily Gurwitz, it should have said, Dear Terminally Fucked....

I have always taken good care of myself my whole life.  I try to eat right, exercise, and get sleep.  I have never smoked a cigarette in my life and I rarely if ever drink alcohol.  I always assumed I'd live a long life.  I am now not so sure of that.  I am hoping that 2011 is a much better year.


Chemosabe