The day of chemo 1--9/30/10 at 2:22 a.m.

Since I am not sleeping, I decided to go ahead and write.  I think it's the combination of the steroids and other supplements..All day yesterday and actually right now, I feel like I could go to the gym and pump some iron or do a kickboxing class..This is some pretty crazy stuff I'm taking!!

Back to before the surgery....My surgery was on August 5, 2010.  It was going to be a 9 1/2 hour micro-surgery double mastectomy with DIEP flap.   In the DIEP flap, surgeons actually use a microscope and laser to attach blood vessels to my new breasts and "flap" which is the new areola and nipple.  The flap is actually skin taken from the abdomen and grafted on.  Anyway, for about a month before the surgery, I was in full panic mode.  I had never been put under for any kind of surgery much less an 9 1/2 hour one. The most extensive surgeries I had ever had before that were the two c-sections that I had for the births of my children, Ethan 10 and Zoe 6.  Of course I was awake for those!!  I had been exercising before the cancer diagnosis, but after I knew I was having the surgery, I began riding my bike every day..I felt as if I was getting ready for the marathon of my life.  It turns out that exercise was the best thing I could have done for myself.

There are some interesting phenomena that occurred before my surgery and diagnosis.  Recently, my husband Elliott began working for NEISD construction management.  When the time came for him to decide on benefits, I remembered a presentation that went on at Bradley about cancer insurance.  Usually, I turn my brain off during faculty meetings, but for this one, I was wide awake and paying attention.  The presenter said that 1 in 3 people will get cancer in their lifetimes.  I remember thinking, both Elliott and I have cancer in our families (no breast cancer on my side though), so this insurance might be a good thing.  I still remember the day that Elliott had to figure out what insurance to get.  He was already on my regular insurance plan...He asked me, should I get any extra insurance?  It's time for open-enrollment.  I told him to get the cancer insurance and to get the premium level to cover the family.  He thought I was nuts, but I insisted on him getting it as well as the highest level of life insurance for both of us and our kids.  I don't know why I was so adamant, but I was...Five months later I got my diagnosis.  Between the regular insurance and the cancer insurance, we haven't had to pay a cent for anything.

A few months before that, we were looking for new couches for our living room.  We looked and looked and decided on lazy-boy couches that are fully reclined...I'm so glad we did that b/c after my surgery, I had to sleep in a recliner for 2 months and Elliott could be there on the other couch sleeping comfortably too.

The night before my surgery, Elliott, my brother Jon, and my parents all went out to eat for what I called "The Last Supper" at a restaurant called Silo on 1604.  It is a very upscale restaurant that I have only gone to one other time in my life.  A friend of mine, Tim McWright, a wonderful saxophonist and minister had been leaving me cell phone messages that he had something to give me and that God was with me.  I had planned on calling him back after dinner.  As I was leaving the restaurant with my family, the elevator opened, and there was Tim.  He had never been to that restaurant before and he was just going there to make reservations for him and his wife for their anniversary.  (He had heard it was quite good.)  There we were standing face to face..I was so glad to see him and told him that I was going to call him back.  He told me that he thought my surgery had already happened and went looking for me at Methodist hospital to give me something. So, he went to Silo to make his reservations..In his hand he had a piece of paper.  He said I was looking for you at Methodist and I wanted to give you this..It said:

Psalm 57:1
Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me:  for my soul trusteth in thee:
Yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.

Now, I am not a religious person, but this really had me shaken.  My mom who is also not religious in the least began to cry.  I knew at that time that someone was watching over me and that I would survive the surgery.

More later....I hope everyone is getting a good night sleep!  Love to all, Em