Open your eyes

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about outer appearance, specifically scars, the last few days.  In my last blog entry, I mentioned this website called:  http://thescarproject.org/.  The photography on that website  made me think about so many things..

My entire life, I have been self-conscious about my appearance.  Since seeing the scar project website, I have realized that I am on a life journey as are all of us on this planet.  From the time we are born out of our mothers' wombs until the time we are placed in the earth again, we are on a path.  Whether you believe in destiny or not, it doesn't matter. (I personally don't.)  One way or another, we all move forward in time.  When I think of life that way, outer appearance doesn't matter as much anymore.  Even the supermodels of the earth will not look perfect when they are old.  And, everyone looks pretty crappy at their own funerals....scarred or not.

I have been seeing a psychologist for the past several months to try to come to grips with my life and to deal with the issues of the cancer diagnosis and treatments.  The most powerful thing she said to me recently was, "Emily, open your eyes."  She told me to step back and really look at the people around me, my environment, and take mental notes.  I have learned so much about my life and the people around me, by doing just that.  One of the first things I did was look at these beautiful cancer survivors through my new eyes.  I didn't see thier scars anymore..I saw their beautiful faces and souls that have clearly gone through so much.  I have looked at my wonderful family, friends, and students.  I have begun to really see who they are and understand my life around me.

So far, the message I have gotten from opening my eyes to the world is:  Even if people put up a front, are angry, sad, or disappointed, they all want to be loved and appreciated and seen for who they really are.  Underneath the flesh, scarring, and pain that we all have, lies our inner selves.  I can say, for myself, I want to be loved for who I am as a person rather than my outer appearance.

By noticing my life around me, I feel as though everything has come into focus for me.  I am starting to understand what is truly important:  My relationships, my family, laughing, and loving as much as possible until I am put into the earth again.  In a funny sort of way, I feel like a superhero with x-ray vision because I see everything so differently.

I ask all of you that read my blog to really open your eyes and take mental notes...I promise you will be amazed!